(or: Who is this Ozone character, and why does he annoy me so?)

Me, I'm Thaddeus Ozone. Am I a medical doctor? A surgeon, perhaps? No. Then I must be a world famous scientist, right? No, again. What I am is a guy with a nickname. "Doc" to my friends. Wanna be my friend? Write me a nice letter telling me how much you like my work. Wanna be my really good friend? Send me money.
What I am is a graphic artist. A Photoshop Mechanic, to be exact. What's a Photoshop Mechanic, you ask? That's someone who takes what's really a rather simple, elegant program for image manipulation, and squeezes it until it bleeds. Then mops up the blood, twists it, warps it, and makes THAT bleed. That's me. A Photoshop Mechanic.
This isn't all there is to me, not by a long shot. In my previous life I've managed a commercial Screen Printing shop specializing in 4/colour process reproductions, I've been a furniture designer in NYC, an auctioneer of fine oriental rugs, an auto mechanic, a truck driver, I've worked in a Navy shipyard, and I've worked as a commercial cartoonist. I've NEVER worked in the food industry, and never will.